Hally 16 years old

-sufferer of OCD, anxiety and self harm
-can write backwards
-lover of strange names

April
Anonymous said:

hey :) when somebody has ocd, does this person get anxious?because i always have touch p.e corners, because i think there is "something" and i wanna get rid of it, because it makes me feel uncomfortable and distressed, but i dont really feel anxious. I also dont think: when i dont do this sth bad is going to happen. i just have this feeling.i often do this in my head. p.e. ( ok this may sounds weird now) i think of how something gets out of my head like a big string and touches and grazes

Hi there, I’m going to answer just on this ask because it will be easier. Don’t worry about your English you speak it very well!

What it sounds like is OCD unfortunately. When people have OCD you can almost always have some feelings of anxiety and what you usually think of as ‘distress’ or ‘fear’ is often anxiety.

Unfortunately I can’t help you will all your individual rituals (the things you have to do to make you feel safe) but I seriously encourage you to try and get some help, some professional help.

I really hope you’ll be okay and I know you will. Good luck pal!

Hx

answered 11 hours ago
with 1 note
April
Anonymous said:

Thank you so much for all that advice, I feel much more comfortable approaching the topic with her now. But what also worries me is that she's always under pressure and with exams coming up I barely ever see her, she overworks way way too much and I think that's making the anorexia worse because it's strss

As important as exams are, it is important to always see that exams are just exams. Sometimes when people do have a disorder they hook themselves on their activities around them to justify their behaviour. For instance, “I can’t come to lunch, I’ve got to finish this essay etc.”

Help her see that they are just exams. You could start bringing up the topic by her overworking? That might be a gentle way into the conversation?

Good luck, I really hope it goes alright.

Hx

answered 4 days ago
April
Anonymous said:

hi hally, i know you may not have suffered from one, but my friend i think has just developed an eating disorder really badly and your really good at giving advice so just wondered what i can do about it. i think its anorexia, its getting bad and shes lost lots of weight - her parents know and stuff i think but arent doing anything and its not getting better. if youve ever been in this situation, what could i do to help?

No, I’ve never had an eating disorder, but I have actually been in this exact same situation.

Have you called her out on it? If you have, that is a good start, if you haven’t, when it is just the two of you, try and bring it up in the most sensitive way possible. Make sure she knows you won’t make her do anything and you are not judging her.

Once the ‘calling-out’ stage is over it can go one of two ways. The first being she’ll admit to it and want your help or she’ll continue to deny it and ignore your attempts at help. Obviously the former is preferable.

If she does admit and wants help you should first let her talk to you until you understand exactly what is going on in her head at the moment just so you can help in the most effective way possible. I would then urge her to either speak to her parents or (as it was in my case) the school doctor. If she wants you there at all or on the phone you do it. She has to be able to trust you 100%.

The trouble with anorexia is most of the time they don’t want to get caught and so unfortunately there is often a great deal of denial involved. If her parents are aware, they probably aren’t aware of the extent of it and so again I would encourage her to talk to her parents or an older sibling.

The most important advice I can give is to not give up on her. Never ever give up trying to help her because she will need someone always to support her. If all fails and after a great deal of time has passed and she still isn’t seeking help or getting better, the best thing you can do is to tell your school, someone who knows her, maybe a head of year or form tutor? Then they can deal with parents. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.

Finally it’s important to remember a few things when dealing with anorexia:

Their view of their body is completely warped to see themselves as something disgusting. Never say anything along the lines of “but you’re so skinny already!” never make judgements about weight. Instead go along the lines of “you’re getting unhealthy”. It’s all about health, not weight.

Remember when their mood goes up and down as it could be quite erratic, on days when she appears to be more down than usual, call her or drop her a text when you are apart so she knows that you are thinking about her and will be there for her.

Always answer your phone when she calls. Always go to her house if she asks you to. Always, always, always make sure you have time for her.

It’s very important to remember that this is bigger than you are. It is something you will not be able to fix and ultimately, it is down to her will. Make sure you give yourself a break every now and again. It isn’t your fault or your responsibility.

Last, try and make them see sense; that they are damaging their body and need help. Make them think of the future and all the good.

Hug her when she wants it, kiss her when she needs it and tell somebody if she won’t herself.

I hope this is a help. Good luck and all the best.

Hx

answered 6 days ago
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April
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You deserve good things, and I want to be one of them.

Ellen Hopkins, Impulse

I always think of the people I love with this quote. It reminds me to keep going, to keep at therapy and to keep trying my hardest to be the best I can be for them because of everything they have done for me.

 
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April

Hey, so I sent you a question anonymously a couple of days ago saying that I was having a bad day. And I just wanted to let you know that I loved your suggestions, and that my day got better! Thanks for all you do and I hope you have a fabulous day yourself! xoxo

I’m so so glad I could help. That really makes my day!

Stay positive, have a wonderful day!

Hallyxxx

answered 1 week ago
April
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My darling, you are allowed to fail without being a failure. You are allowed to make mistakes without becoming one. More opportunities will present themselves, you will find hope again.
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I know you’re not here, I can see it in your eyes when we talk. Where ever you are, come back soon.
Iain Thomas, I Wrote This For You.  
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April
Anonymous said:

Hey, so I've had a crappy day. Any advice on how to stay positive?

Crappy days are indeed crap, I’m sorry for you.

Here’s a number of things I do when I have a crap day:

I call my best friends, sometimes I talk about what’s wrong but other times I let them distract me. It helps me because I know people care about me.

I hug my parents, they always hug back as tightly and as long as I need!

I watch my favourite programmes, Doctor Who followed by a couple of doses of Family Guy usually do the trick!

I do the things I love, playing the guitar, running, reading, writing.

I write down all my problems, sometimes in the form of a letter, in a notebook which has a number of these letters in. In time, when you’re better, it’s so amazing to look back on and see how far you’ve come.

You’ll be okay pal, keep going.

Hallyx

answered 1 week ago
April
Anonymous said:

I messed up. I'm a failure I'm sorry. I couldn't cope I couldn't fix the pictures. I tried to redesign them to make it all okay but it didn't work I just got more and more panicky thinking about it and I just have up and self injured. I'm sorry I'm a failure. I'm sorry I messaged you. You shouldn't have had to waste your time on me. I'm really sorry.

You are not a failure and you have not wasted my time in the slightest. I love trying to help people.

It’s okay to slip into bad habits, it’s how you get up again that matters. You’ll be ok, I promise.

Just stay strong and stay positive.

Hxxx

answered 1 week ago
April
Anonymous said:

I've tried doing that but it's not working. I don't understand why it's messed with me so much. I'm freaking out because it's hard to breath and idk why. I just hate everything so much I just want to stop it. I need a release :(

If you’re someone who responds to exercise, I would suggest going for a run and truly getting out your nervous energy.

Try doing something you love, if you have a hobby, for me it’s guitar so if you have the equivalent that may help you?

Punch a pillow as many times as you need to.

Cut your hair! Change its colour and style if you really need a release!

But please, stay as far away from self-injury as much as you can.

Hx

answered 1 week ago
April
Anonymous said:

There was this tumblr post it had pictures of "poorly designed products" things like toeless wellys, a watering can where the spout leads to the filling hole, chairs With the seat curved upwards so it can't be sat on. It's making me so anxious. I can't breath properly and my heart is beating to fast. I feel like I'm having a panic attack and I just want it to stop. They were only pictures :/

Ok I saw that too, it certainly was not pleasant.

Start by adjusting your breathing, stay focused on one thing and breathe in for 3 hold for 1 and out for 4 and keep going until you feel your heart slow down a bit.

Also take time to tense each muscle in your body and release, this will help focus your mind.

Hope you’re alright.

Hx

answered 1 week ago
April
Anonymous said:

Ever heard the song recover by Natasha beddingfield? It's a great song for remembering to stay strong! I also like save your scissors by city and colour. All the best! You're a brave, beautiful and wonderful person xoxo :)

I absolutely love all of you giving me these beautiful songs!

Thank you, keeping sending them in!!

Hallyxxx

answered 1 week ago
April
Anonymous said:

city and colour: - sleeping sickness. listen

Never before has a song described my situation so perfectly.

Thank you so, so much!

Hallyxxx

answered 2 weeks ago
March
Anonymous said:

andrea gibson - an insiders guide on how to be sick. look it up xxxx

This is beautiful, thank you.

Hx

answered 3 weeks ago